Log in

entries friends calendar profile
To walk down memory lane. Still, what is worth it is knowing one has overcome what seemed overwhelming at the time. I wonder how people are? Hell, after the last two years I wonder *who* people are. I think that was the longest-lasting mark - to develop this awful mistrust of others , to doubt their words. One of my problems is that when I'm not on the job, I'm fairly gullible being cursed or blessed with a tendency to , literally, take people at their word. Still, I wish some of those from my past well though I have no expectation of hearing from them more.
I'm in a very extreme place now ( where I live, I mean) but I will be leaving here in a couple of months.
I hope you are on pleasant adventures, ones' not so outre as mine :). But then I haven't changed much and the patterns of one's life can be surprisingly consistent even if inconsistency is their hallmark. And so it is.

Off to write.

7 comments or Leave a comment

I had to watch this a couple of painful times to figure out what was wrong with this version of a tequila shooter ceremony below decks near a porthole and I *finally* figured it out. They got the salt first right and the quick throw back of the tequila. Then the problem became so obvious - the woman is wearing an *American* football referee's shirt so wouldn't know the off-side rule!

I'm bloody brilliant, I am.

Illgrace - more fascinating religious rite analysis to follow

Current Mood: accomplished

Leave a comment

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

This is very difficult for someone of my incredible ancestry ( We will not mention Lord Snatch-Bustle Grimthrottle ) but some person convinced me to join some outre group of diverse peoples to be found in some cyber penny dreadful called ....Facebook. Thrumbottom is not pleased and twice today has brought me my sherry in the second best Waterford .

Being as I am quite unused to having to do anything for myself and because my associates are of that high calibre that they can not be just dropped in on at this club, I thought I should just drop a note should any care to leave their card on Illgrace Grimthrottle's silver salver at Facebook which Thrumbottom ( after I threaten him with taking away his annual half-day holdiday ) will then convey to me.

Thenk you.


Current Location: a lady never tells

4 comments or Leave a comment

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

(picture done by Kittiquin on DeviantArt)

Welcome to the Saturday Philosophy edition. Feel free to continue sleeping. Heh.

Once in a while one comes across a trope so strong it opens one's eyes just that little bit wider. Later on that. For now a couple of situations that perplex and as disparate as they are, they are connected.

I have epilepsy. One of the triggers is the monthly cycle. When I was unable to continue taking the strong anticonvulsant anymore, I came up with a solution to this. I told the doctor and he was doubtful but saw the reasoning in it. I went on B.C. pills of low dosage to control my cycles and took an anticonvulsant 'lite' type of drug. And all...was well. But as I approached that all-too certain age I reckoned nature would take care of the cycles ( by eliminating them) so I could stop taking the pills. But all was not well in blender-disease land . Oh, dear. So the doctor suggested I go back on the pill regardless .

Here's the thing. I *hate* altering my body chemistry unless necessary and also, one reads a lot of horror stories about the pill or HRT for older women.
And here is my question: When the hell will medicine ( a purported *science* )stop bowing to useless social morality? Now bear with me. I am NOT saying that medicine should abandon ethics - far , far from it. If you want to understand how I am differentiating try saying these two sentences and you will see the difference. 1) " I wish he would stop being so moralistic " 2) I wish he would stop being so ethical". See? There is a nuanced difference ( I can hear Teacups rattling but will dodge that for now). The point is I went on-line to find as much information as I could about the benefits or potential dangers of taking hormones at my age.
Holy crap!. Finding good information was a Herculean task. All I wanted was INFORMATION. I did not want to hear the extremities of some kind of social debate about whether women should allow themselves to have hormones beyond a certain best-by date. I don't need to 'embrace the many benefits of aging' nor did I hanker after hearing about the wonders of the fountain of eternal youth as brought to us via hormone replacement therapy. All I wanted to know was...is it ...safe? Not *socially safe*, physically safe.

Well forget it. I could not find enough good information devoid of propagandising so I elected to take the damn things and hope I don't keel over with a blood-clot and am presently feeling like the Montgolfier brothers are experimenting with my body. But the brain-fiz is gone.

His young lordship came in the other day and was fulmanating about The kinds of phrasing that is almost always used to describe certain situations. The one that was getting to him was in an article that spoke of a child who *bravely battled* a disease and recovered. What himself said was " Does that mean the children that don't recover are COWARDS! " Here is brave little Timmy who battled and won and over there is that lily-livered squirming coward Jane who lost and died". Good point, Sprod.

Which brings me to that trope I was talking about. It is called (among other things) the 'Just World Phenomenon'. I've ganked this off Wiki because it explains it simply ( though it's quite complex, I must say) and this will do for now.

"The just-world phenomenon, also called the just-world theory, just-world fallacy, just-world effect, or just-world hypothesis, refers to the tendency for people to want to believe that the world is fundamentally just so when they witness an otherwise inexplicable injustice they will rationalize it by searching for things that the victim might have done to deserve it. This deflects their anxiety, and lets them continue to believe the world is a just place, but often at the expense of blaming victims for things that were not, objectively, their fault.

Another theory entails the need to protect one's own sense of invulnerability. This inspires people to believe that rape, for example, only happens to those who deserve or provoke the assault. This is a way of feeling safer. If the potential victim avoids the behaviors of the past victims then they themselves will remain safe and feel less vulnerable.Two studies gave women what appeared to be painful electric shocks while working on a difficult memory problem. More women of broadly the same age and social group who observed the experiment appeared to blame the victim for her fate, praised the experiment, and rated her as being less physically attractive than did those who had seen her but not the experiment.

In another study, female and male subjects were told two versions of a story about an interaction between a woman and a man. Both variations were exactly the same, except at the very end the man raped the woman in one and in the other he proposed marriage. In both conditions, both female and male subjects viewed the woman's (identical) actions as inevitably leading to the (very different) results."

Powerful stuff. But as I worked my thoughts through the various conundrums and ideas that present themselves , I began to see how pervasive this fallacy is. It even pertains to the two earlier examples. Think about it.

You know, even though *I knew* I wasn't to 'blame' for the terrible trauma that happened to me in the U.K. , I spent the next 3 years castigating myself for it - guilt, shame, blame.

Himself and I were discussing this last night and he remarked that this notion of a 'Just World' is so deeply ingrained in our psyche in our culture it's almost impossible to avoid falling into the kinds of attribution it exacts. But now I have another facet of social analysis to add to my maunderings and I shall be more wary from now on. Especially because when 'emotional thinking' gets into the hen-house along side of empirical thinking, the ole lizard brain triumphs every time.


Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

3 comments or Leave a comment

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

A lot of people have been getting their bowels in an uproar about Amazon Books defending it's right to allow a book called 'The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure' written by some dude named Phillip R Greaves ( Amazon has since bowed to public pressure and withdrawn it)to be sold on their site. Amazon insisted on the right to sell written work based on such outre concepts as freedom of speech and information. Silly Amazon.

I carry no brief for paedophiles . This is the one pathology I have never been able to get my head around. I've dealt with both victims and perpetrators and it's still a mystery to me.


I *am* very anti-censorship.

Let's get the fool who wrote the 'guide' out of the way first because I can't see anyone who can't even spell 'lighter' grabbing a Pulitzer any time soon. This whole noise is not about, or should not be about, one illiterate and wrongly wired vanity author.

But let me ask you something - would it have been acceptable if it were published as a work of fiction? Look up the book 'Lolita' and invariably the word 'classic' will pop up. Well, I've read it and it's neither 'classic' nor memorable. It is the self-indulgent maunderings of a an (let it be hoped ) unrealized paedophile who has the license to put cheap and selfish justifications into his protagonist's mouth and willing stupidity into the victim's mouth thus making it all somehow ...O.K.. It's not. What if he had called his book " A guide to kidnapping and sexually abusing 12 year old girls'? Not so 'classic', that.

There are so many examples of how playing the shell-game of making something 'fiction' and thus acceptable has been played out.

Frankly, I see little difference between one person's 'guide to' and another person's ' this is what I imagine and you can imagine it through my words'. It shocks me that people even make this distinction: that it's fine to read fictionalized accounts of horrific things but it's not fine if someone makes the subject non-fiction. It's not as if heinous things don't happen in actuality. It's also deeply hypocritical to watch horror movies about sadistic killers or rapers yet suddenly get all Sunday school teacherish if someone dares to confirm that such things happen in reality.

The movie 'Pretty Baby' anyone? How about the Fashion industry's penchant for barely post-pubescent models?

I don't happen to approve of people being able to buy automatic assault rifles and I am appalled at the number of gun deaths in domestic situations . However, if I wrote that I thought NRA pamphlets should be banned people would think I was nuts. I find 'American Psycho' to be offensive. Maybe if he had called it 'The metrosexual's guide to serial murder' I could have it pulled from circulation. But I wouldn't because that would be censorship. I simply don't have to read this author's works. I was never afraid it turned people into serial killers or glorified that idea.

Censorship is born of the convoluted idea that words *cause* actions . It's the same argument that has been put forward to quash anything that doesn't fit into the current culture of the time's social mores. Just look up all books that have been banned. Banning 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' did not stop extra-marital sex or use of the 'F' word. Civil Rights marched on regardless of whether people liked or did not like 'To Kill a Mockingbird' and banning 'Catcher in the Rye' did not stop teen rebellion as far as I can tell.

Anybody that thinks that simply reading something will turn a person into what is being written about should give this notion some very deep thought. It's the same thinking that leads to such disturbingly ignorant concepts as the so-called 'Homosexual Agenda': the idea that just by being exposed to gay people, thought and ideas can actually alter a person's sexual orientation. This notion that physiological (including mental)make-up can be effected or altered by the printed word is odd.Are humans to be viewed in light of being in perpetual infancy and so must be protected from the nasty things that are out there? I feel this is selling adult humans a little short as well as pushing the idea that the written word has the power to literally change physiolgy .

No written work can alter a human's hard wiring or 'cause' pathology. Yes, ideas might encourage people to think and even to change but only as far as any experience or idea can change people's ideas. The key word here is 'ideas', not temperment or physiological predisposition.

It's taken as a given that there is no 'cure' for paedophilia. Now why is that? I'm not doubting the historical veracity of this but questioning why it so little studied and understood.

All this baying for censorship about it masks the larger problem. Simply tut-tutting about certain subject matters and banning books that deal with them is the equivalent of drawing down a window shade on what is being objected to. Hiding something doesn't make it go away and driving something underground makes it harder to examine. Doesn't anybody find it socially relevant that there is such a HUGE market for kiddie-porn, that whole plane charters are arranged for 'sex tourism' for men to go to countries that do not protect child prostitutes – hell, that there even IS this huge market for child prostitutes? What about those police sting operations where the number of men caught ( it's almost invariably men – no sexism intended) is in the double or sometimes triple digits in just one operation?

Simply banning books on it is not going to make it go away any time soon. Banning books has never worked , indeed, has had the opposite effect of piquing people's curiosity.
And for those that think that allowing such books to be sold somehow gives the act of paedophilia some kind of justifcation or approval – hello. Thousands of paedophiles don't need approval and people who are not paedophiles are not going to approve no matter how many glorification books are published. To think otherwise is to believe that the written word can cause pathology. It can't.

I think it's time we stopped employing cosmetic solutions such as book banning to serious problems and start addressing those problems in the 'real'.

Because real children are being harmed and not by books and not by the idea that people have been 'converted' to paedophilia by reading about it.It's a major distraction from a serious problem.

I'm not asking you to agree with me ,just....think about it.


Current Mood: aggravated aggravated
Current Music: Prokofiev

4 comments or Leave a comment

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

And it was a near miss!

I joined the miasmac facebook when someone wanted to 'out' Rochelle Moore as a Fraud, Thief , Liar , plagiarist and scam-artist. And so it was done. The nice group of people brought together to accomplish this task had a common bond and goal and a little light socializing, well, it was fun.
But than it was over.

Or so I thought. At least, I thought that the kind of glue that held people together for one thing might be of a more durable kind. But after the Rocky Horror Picture Show was over, everyone just drifted apart. That happens. One sees it all the time on line. However, some of the people enjoyed the other people's company and put together a forum in the hopes that we could also share thoughts *away* from the traffic accident known as RM.
But it never happened. People stayed on FB and the forum dragged. Very few people wanted to contribute to a style of forum outside the purview of FB.. O.K.. I had deleted all my accounts on FB and breathed a sigh of relief as FB owes it's existence to corporations that use their little bots to gather consumer info and also, the assorted criminal types that also like to gather info. and I'm way too computer paranoid to want to roll around in that scene.

But many people could not be enticed out of FB for love nor money. So in order to connect with a number of people ( all who knew where to find me outside of FB - and that right there should have clued me) , I opened another account.

But this time there was no *glue* so it was lots of random people whom had met each other through one 'cause' and now sorta hung out with people they 'friend' and visa versa.

I tried. Goodness knows I did. But *what* a place.I've been trying to work out the addictive factor that keeps people on there but all the conclusions I can come to are to be quite frank, rather pessimistic. Either I lack some element in my make-up when it comes to a sense of self importance or I don't understand this new kind of 'socializing' where people just post and post and post (in between tweeting, I guess) every moment of their lives no matter how small.I checked a person's wall one day and estimated they had made a post EVERY 15 MINUTES for FIVE HOURS!. WTF? And while she's not the most prolific person, the *content* of so many other's posts are basically the same: what I ate, how I feel, how my child just said gwhahaha-ga, look at my new hat, dessert, nail polish, picture of me at age 2 and so on and on and on.
When it gets this bad, then people have stopped living for themselves and are now just living for the ostensible benefit of a bunch of cyber-space 'friends' who (apparently) just can't get enough of the scraps of their every thought and action no matter how trivial.

Almost everyone has become the *star* of their very own reality T.V. show and the camera is always...on.

What is weirder is that people who were writing to me years ago about somebody that had DESTROYED their lives - have now 'friended' that very person. Eh? Or is the amount of 'friends' equivalent to T.V. ratings? 620 people totally care about the hole in Fred's sock versus the picayune 320 'friends' interested in Vera's wish she could have a piece of chocolate right now and has a slight headache.
Do the people that *actually* take then post a picture of their bowl of pudding and comment on the new fridge magnet their little sweetums just made think that everyone on their list are hanging on their every typed word? If one of their 'friends' just got in a car accident, do they reckon that friend will insist on using their mobile in the ambulance in order to see if the prunes had a good effect on Jane's cousin's 6 year old? Or if their dog liked the new brand of dog food? "Wait Doctor, don't operate on my compound fracture just yet! I have to type a response to Carrie's fabbo picture of the goddess of slime-mold and find out if her kitty sneezed again!"

And the general IQ of so many of the people seems to have taken a swan dive since I was last there. I've never seen so much nodding of collective heads and such suspension of basic logic for a very long time. This is Happy Land where everything everybody does is just...OMG....Brilliant! Every opinion, no matter how unthinking and bigoted is...OMG...Fantastic - LOL! LOL! .
Just ... Stop.
Please re-read what you just agreed to. Are you really writing that it's O.K. to classify people according to some Stalinist list? Do you really think that piece of half-formed play-dough with sparkles on or that maudlin badly executed drawing is so swoon-worthy or that little hackneyed saying about thinking happy thoughts so deeply philosophical?

WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR LOBOTOMY? You used to be an intelligent and realistic person!

I tried. I was up against the 'wall' and so I threw a few things up there. But I don't really think either myself or the minutiae of my day are that interesting. And I'm sorry to tell you, I don't think yours is either. It's fucking boring beyond belief and trivalizes your good self.

I will keep an account open in case I have to reach someone. But no more pour moi. It's quiet here at LJ now but I like it. I can read what someone I like has to say and how they spend their day and enjoy that they edit it and put in the things that tell me more about *them* as a unique person and not just a bunch of words rolling down a screen at speed.

Illgrace - you know where to find me

Tags: ,
Current Location: as always
Current Mood: pessimistic pessimistic

3 comments or Leave a comment
Yes, our favourite lying bigot is back and trying to re-hash the admitted by himself fraudulent religion - 'The Daughters of Frya' as 'The Famna'.


Here are some screen shots . Sorry to make my British friends hurl into their cereal, but I thought you should know that Tony is back at it again with a phony religion trying to pick up some more young girls. Of course, we all know there is a certain disorder there is no cure for - starts with 'P' and I don't mean 'Pagan'. That's his 'cover'. The proof there is no cure is even though he admitted it was a hoax before, he just can't stop himself from trying to recruit and hurt young women.

And here is a prime example of a 'P' trying to recruit and 'groom'. Get out your tennis togs, teens, Tony wants to see you shake your booty and become a cripple for life for his pleasure.

I see you are still using copyrighted pics., Tony. That's a place to start anyway but there are WAY more places that will get to hear of you yet AGAIN!

Please people, for the safety of young women, pass this around. Thanks.


Tags: , ,
Current Mood: angry angry

13 comments or Leave a comment

Last night my LJ was hacked and the above image removed. So, here is the URL in case they go for it again :


Here is the rest of it:


"The exercise, which involves repeatedly bending the knees, can be very physically exhausting and for this reason was adopted by concentration camp guards as a punishment to inflict on their prisoners. The inmates were forced to perform it naked, for hours each day. If any of them fell, or were unable to continue, they were shot.[2]"

I would appreciate it if people could hit on this site (squirrelboiler)on google as it is moving up in the google search bar under 'Daughters of Frya'

Good news: I received a letter from Israel today wanting more info. on these people. So I'm still here trying to make a difference, one post at a time.

Thank you all again.


Tags: ,
Current Location: Not where google says :)
Current Mood: angry angry

4 comments or Leave a comment


The exercise, which involves repeatedly bending the knees, can be very physically exhausting and for this reason was adopted by concentration camp guards as a punishment to inflict on their prisoners. The inmates were forced to perform it naked, for hours each day. If any of them fell, or were unable to continue, they were shot.[2]



Tags: , ,
Current Location: Time-machine-unwillingly
Current Mood: angry angry
Current Music: Deutschland über alles

2 comments or Leave a comment